Sagittarius Horoscope for the Month of August 2025

Opening Vision

Cosmic glitter explodes in your chart like a unicorn tantrum. Proceed with flair..

Your heart is in the right place. Shame your texts aren’t.

Your big idea arrives. Sadly, during a Zoom glitch.

Your energy spikes then plummets. Ride it like a theme park.

Jupiter expands your laundry pile.

Mars conjuncts your side hustle with bad intentions.

Week 1: Astrological whiplash incoming.

Week 2: Secret enemies have group chats.

Week 3: Resting is not quitting (but also, hide).

Week 4: Your eye-roll has power. Use it.

I am the climax of the plot.

Apparently, expressing a thought now qualifies as heroism, as long as you smile afterward and include a disclaimer in parentheses.

Jason says the gym is his therapy. And to be fair, he’s there six days a week, rain or shine,...

All I know is I’m eating peanut butter with a spoon and calling it strategy.

He’s emotionally available — for anyone willing to hear a 14-part saga about why his divorce wasn’t his fault. Bonus...