Ghosted by a Recruiter? That’s Just Free Character Development
When recruiters vanish mid-process, it’s not unprofessional—it’s a growth opportunity. Real winners treat rejection like a networking event they weren’t invited to.
MAGA Insists It Isn’t Racist, Just Comfortable With Racism
MAGA insists it isn’t racist, while consistently supporting rhetoric and policies that racism seems extremely comfortable standing behind.
Facebook Dating Proudly Matches People Who Immediately Choose Silence
Facebook Dating excels at matching people who immediately decide not to speak, proving silence may be the most honest form of modern connection.
FIFA Awards Melania Trump Best Actress After Her Movie Fails
After Melania Trump’s movie failed to impress, FIFA stepped in to award her Best Actress, proving it will honor literally anything except soccer.
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He’s Not Emotionally Unavailable, He’s Just Spiritually Inactive
He meditates twice a week and owns a candle. But when it comes to real intimacy, he vanishes like incense…
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He said I was “a lot.” I said thanks. He meant it as a warning. I took it as confirmation.
BREAKING: Woman Called Brave for Having Opinion
Apparently, expressing a thought now qualifies as heroism, as long as you smile afterward and include a disclaimer in parentheses.
Casual Dater’s Secret Checklist Leaves Men Ghosted, Graded, and Confused
He thought they were vibing. She thought he failed the third unspoken compatibility test. In modern dating, the rubric is…
Woman’s Profile Powered by Quotes Raises Alarms for Thought Drought
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My friend Richie went to the Philippines for peace, beaches, and new beginnings. He found all that, plus a Balut…
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Dear Dr. Doctrine

My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.
I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming…
Corporate Stars That Shouldn’t Collide
Astronomer CEO Andy Byron says the universe “sent a sign” during Coldplay—unfortunately, it looked a lot like being…
My Burnout Coach Gave Me Homework
When self-care becomes another deliverable. Dr. Doctrine decodes the emotional invoice, and Ricky Machismo responds with grit, dumbbells,…
My Four-Year-Old Called Me Emotionally Unavailable
When toddlers start diagnosing attachment issues, is it growth or generational backlash? Dr. Doctrine offers a dose of…
My Husband Listens to Therapy Recordings at 2x Speed
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Patty Plotz
Patty decodes cinematic nonsense with a director’s eye and a troll’s heart.
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The Informant leaks inside jokes and half-truths from TMP’s deepest shadows.
Florence Factson
Florence double-checks your takes before you embarrass yourself, but usually waits until it’s too late.
Lux Wilde
Decoding fame, fashion, and your latest spiral. Lux files it all under performance art with a moodboard and mild psychosis.
Buck Brogan
Buck tells it like it was, which is to say, mostly incorrect but way too confident.
Norman Mockwell
Reports from the edge of sanity—Norman files cultural and political audits like he’s submitting evidence to Congress, because sometimes he is.
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Max writes like he’s shouting from a stadium blimp—and you’re still not paying enough attention.






























































