BREAKING: Woman Called Brave for Having Opinion
Apparently, expressing a thought now qualifies as heroism, as long as you smile afterward and include a disclaimer in parentheses.
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My Ideal Date Involves Sedating Large Predators or Mountain Summits
You like coffee? Cute. I like high-stakes survival. If we’re not rappelling by noon or tranquilizing something with fangs, we’re just coworkers with better lighting.
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Newly Single Dad Wants to See Where It Goes, Overshare About His Ex
He’s emotionally available — for anyone willing to hear a 14-part saga about why his divorce wasn’t his fault. Bonus points if you’re good with kids and can listen without blinking.
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Must Align With My Unwavering Beliefs Sourced Exclusively From YouTube
He doesn’t need to be perfect — he just needs to believe what I believe, in the exact order I learned it from five unrelated men in trucker hats speaking into lapel mics.
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Casual Dater’s Secret Checklist Leaves Men Ghosted, Graded, and Confused
He thought they were vibing. She thought he failed the third unspoken compatibility test. In modern dating, the rubric is real, you just don’t get to see it.
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Woman’s Profile Powered by Quotes Raises Alarms for Thought Drought
She’s manifesting love, but only using fonts from 2014. Experts warn the rise in recycled quote bios may signal an originality crisis among romantics.
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Pam Bondi on Power, Politics, and Prosecuting Trump
In our latest UnAsked, Pam Bondi opens up about her loyalty to Trump, her take on Florida justice, and her definition of “ethics,” which appears to include consulting fees.
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Trump Pardons Maxwell, Removes Name from Epstein File, All Thanks to “Stop Attacking Pedophiles” Policy
When Ted Cruz said “let’s stop attacking pedophiles,” he apparently meant especially the ones with presidential pardons in the pipeline.
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Millions Still Waiting for the Rapture, Ignoring Every Other Thing That’s Already Come for Them
Millions still cling to the Rapture prophecy, waiting for salvation that’ll never come, despite already being left behind by education, logic, and rent payments.
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Men Against Trans Rights Confirmed to Be Expecting, Due Any Minute
The loudest men against trans rights look like they’re nursing twins, expecting triplets, and auditioning to breastfeed the hypocrisy right out of themselves.
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My Buddy Found Peace, Culture, and Life in the Philippines
My friend Richie went to the Philippines for peace, beaches, and new beginnings. He found all that, plus a Balut experience.
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Scientists Confirm Straight Couples Responsible for Every Gay Person on Earth
Gay people don’t make more gay people, straight couples do. Which means if you hate gay people, maybe stop having sex, Karen and Chad.
