My Husband Listens to Therapy Recordings at 2x Speed
Filed on July 23, 2025
Dear Dr. Doctrine,
My husband and I have been doing virtual couples therapy for about five months. Our therapist records our sessions so we can go back and reflect on what we said, which I thought was helpful.
But I just found out that my husband listens to them at 2x speed — while doing chores or driving. He said it helps him “absorb the content more efficiently.”
I told him it feels like he’s fast-forwarding through our problems, and he laughed. I’m wondering if I’m taking it too personally, or if he’s being dismissive without realizing it.
— Playback Priority
Dr. Doctrine, PhD
Licensed in Emotional Overreaction
Dear Playback,
Your husband is not listening to your marriage. He is consuming it. And apparently, he’s on a tight deadline.
There’s a difference between being invested and being optimized. Therapy is not a podcast. It’s not a motivational talk. It’s not something you “absorb” passively while unloading the dishwasher. And your feelings are not bonus content in an audiobook he’s trying to finish before next week’s session.
His efficiency is not the problem — his detachment is. The question isn’t “How fast is he listening?” It’s “Is he actually hearing anything?”
You’re not overreacting. You’re reacting to being processed like an item in his mental inbox. If this is how he shows up for conflict resolution, I’d hate to see his approach to foreplay.
You deserve someone who engages with your emotions in real time — not at double speed, during a commute.
Skipping ahead to the part where you feel seen,
— Dr. Doctrine
Aria Wilde
He listens to your therapy sessions the same way I listen to runway recaps: distracted, disinterested, and mostly waiting for someone to say something about him.
But here’s the part he doesn’t realize: intimacy doesn’t scale. You can’t batch-process emotional nuance like laundry. If he thinks his relationship is a time slot on his internal calendar, he may soon find himself rescheduling for “divorce season.”
Darling, don’t speed up. Make him slow down — or leave him buffering.
— Aria
