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Trump Vows to End Birthright Citizenship Says Real Americans Are Born at Golf Resorts
The president announced that future citizenship will depend on “location, bloodline, and whether the infant respects real estate branding.”
Trump Claims He Was President of United States In a Spiritual Sense Since 2016
At a recent rally, the former president clarified that while he may not be president “on paper,” he remains president…
ASU Effect: Freshman Arrives Average, Graduates as Instagram’s Sun Devil Stereotype
She came for classes but stayed for the “ASU Effect” transformation: 60% hair flipping, 40% filtered sunset selfies, 100% not…
Freshman Develops Entire Personality Around Dorm LED Lights
He arrived with one suitcase and 36 feet of mood lighting. Two weeks in, he hasn’t spoken to his roommate,…
Local Church Announces Rebrands From Fellowship Hall to ‘Spirit Lounge’
The pews are now modular, the coffee has tasting notes, and parishioners are confused why they had to pay a…
Netflix Announces Gritty Open-World Adaptation of Candy Land
Titled Sugarfall, the reimagined series turns the childhood board game into a dystopian war epic where Queen Frostine runs a…
ESPN Developing Cinematic Universe Based on SportsCenter Personalities
The “SCU” will launch with an origin series about Stuart Scott, followed by a gritty reboot of the video game…
Proposition 47B Would Ban Future Propositions, Voters Unsure Supporting It
Supporters say the measure would simplify democracy. Opponents argue it’s a paradox wrapped in a ballot wrapped in 14 pages…
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