My roommate schedules ‘silent disco crying sessions’
Filed on July 9, 2025
Dear Dr. Doctrine,
My roommate, Jess, has started hosting something she calls ‘Silent Disco Crying Sessions’ in our living room. She invites friends over, everyone wears headphones, and they all sob to their own curated playlists while doing slow interpretive dances. She says it’s therapeutic. I say it’s disturbing.
Last night, I walked in on five people weeping to different Beyonce songs while waving glow sticks. Is this new-age grief normal, or have I accidentally joined a cult?
– Emotionally Outnumbered in Austin
Dr. Doctrine, PhD
Licensed in Emotional Overreaction
Dear Outnumbered,
What you’ve described is either a bold emotional revolution or the trailer for an A24 film called “Moist Vibes.” Silent Disco Crying isn’t inherently wrong.
It’s just aggressively expressive and possibly a fire hazard depending on how many scented candles are involved. The real issue here is boundaries – and acoustics. If Jess wants to mourn to ‘Single Ladies’ while spinning with a tissue bouquet, more power to her. But when her grief becomes an RSVP-only spectacle, you have every right to say, ‘No thanks, I’ll process my emotions without fog machines.’ Try counterprogramming. Host ‘Passive-Aggressive PowerPoint Night’ or ‘Repressed Emotion Karaoke.’ Emotional balance, like rent, should be shared.
Affectionately outraged,
– Dr. Doctrine
Lux Wilde
Darling,
I once sobbed through an entire ABBA album while draped in velvet and holding a champagne flute filled with glitter. What Jess is doing? Amateur hour. Still, I admire her audacity. Crying publicly is the new brunch.
You simply must host your own version – I suggest ‘Champagne Screaming’ or ‘Banshee Pilates.’ Just be louder. Be wetter. Win the trauma Olympics. But also?
Buy noise-cancelling headphones and document everything for your memoir: *The Tears Were Sequined.*
Meltdown proudly,
– Lux Wilde
