My boss keeps trying to gamify our sadness
Filed on July 9, 2025
Dear Dr. Doctrine,
My boss recently introduced a new ’emotional wellness initiative’ where we track our feelings in a Slack channel and earn points for vulnerability. It’s called ‘MoodPoints.’ Last week I shared that I was overwhelmed, and someone replied with a crying emoji and a badge that said ‘Courageous Communicator.’
Now I feel like I’m speed-running grief for virtual stickers.
How do I exit this gamified group therapy before I win ‘Most Emotionally Transparent’ against my will?
— Sentimentally Trapped in Tech
Dr. Doctrine, PhD
Licensed in Emotional Overreaction
Dear Trapped,
Nothing says psychological safety like being rewarded with a cartoon crying face for disclosing your unraveling mental state. Your boss has confused empathy with gamification. Vulnerability isn’t a leaderboard. It’s not a KPI. It’s definitely not something that should earn you a badge shaped like a wounded heart and a gift card to Pret.
You have two paths: Opt out politely (‘I prefer analog sadness, thanks’) or flood the channel with increasingly surreal emotions. “Today I feel like a melted fax machine.” Let HR decode that. And remember — if your boss offers a promotion called Chief Empathy Officer, it’s time to fake your own transfer.
Affectionately outraged,
— Dr. Doctrine
Kara Conforma
Oh god.
I worked at a place where we had a ‘Wellness Wheel’ that spun weekly to assign mandatory yoga, vulnerability workshops, or ‘desk cuddling.’ We called it Trauma Roulette.
Here’s the move: weaponize their system. Submit daily mood updates like ‘Existential Dread: 97%’ or ‘Emotion: Unreadable PDF.’ Collect enough MoodPoints to demand a paid vacation to the break room. And if they host an Emotional Offsite? RSVP ‘Maybe’ and bring a piñata full of HR forms.
Professionally burnt out,
— Kara Conforman
