Man Mistaken for Cosplaying Wolverine Was Just a Tired Dad from Burbank
Connor Descend
Mockitor of Smug Advice
Advice Columnist
SAN DIEGO, CA — Dozens of Comic-Con attendees in San Diego swarmed a man they believed to be cosplaying Wolverine, only to discover he was a father of three from Burbank who simply hadn’t shaved, slept, or smiled for 2 weeks.
Randy Morris, 41, says he attended the convention “just to grab some exclusives for the kids and maybe eat in silence for twenty minutes.”
Wearing a white tank top, jeans, and a scowl honed through years of stepping on Legos, Morris quickly became a fan favorite. One influencer dubbed him “Wolverine if he did drop-off at 7 a.m. and gave up on therapy.”
“It was the claws that confused me,” said one attendee. “Then I realized he was holding three Slim Jims in the same hand.”
Despite not intending to cosplay, Morris was stopped over a dozen times for photos and once for a staged duel with a Deadpool who called him “Logan, Daddy Edition.”
“I just wanted to get some air and maybe cry privately in the parking lot,” Morris said. “Now I’m on a fan wiki under ‘Alternative Universe X-Men: Broken Spirit Timeline.’”
Observers say the confusion is understandable, as Comic-Con costumes increasingly blur with everyday crisis fashion. The disheveled, emotionally-scorched look Morris accidentally perfected was “uncannily on-brand” for modern antiheroes.
“It’s the posture,” said costume analyst Ivy Nguyen. “That slightly hunched ‘I’ve seen things’ vibe. He wasn’t cosplaying Wolverine. He was Wolverine.”
Morris leaned into the moment, eventually charging $10 for “grumpy selfies” and signing badge lanyards with quotes like “Mutants? I’ve got three of them in my backseat.”
When asked if he’d return next year, Morris replied, “Only if they have a nap lounge and free Advil.”
At press time, he had returned home, where his children had mistaken him for Hulk — based entirely on how loudly he said “We’re not stopping for snacks.”
Comic-Con officials say the incident is not uncommon. “Some heroes wear capes. Some wear Crocs. We accept them all.”
