Newly Single Dad Just Wants to See Where It Goes (And Overshare About His Ex Immediately)

He opened the date by saying he wasn’t looking for anything serious. He closed it by telling me about her lawyer, her medication, and the way she used to sigh during dinner like it was a personal attack.

Somewhere between the second glass of wine and a story about his ex’s “emotional warfare over Tupperware,” I realized I wasn’t on a date — I was on a therapeutic processing field trip.
And I wasn’t the guest of honor. I was the unpaid witness.

Don’t get me wrong — he’s sweet. He brought photos of his kid. And by “brought,” I mean he used one as his lock screen and casually turned his phone toward me every four minutes like I wouldn’t notice. He said he didn’t want to rush anything, and then proceeded to describe how he’d redo the nursery “if the right person came along.”

Men like this don’t date you — they audition you for emotional co-parenting while pretending you’re “just hanging out.”

He wants to see where it goes. Translation: he wants someone to listen while he rewrites the last five years of his life from the hero’s perspective — ideally someone who won’t ask why he’s still Venmo-ing his ex for “shared emotional costs.”

The kicker? He’s not over her, but he’s absolutely certain it was all her fault.

He’s doing the work, though. He mentioned therapy three times, all in past tense. He also said he’s learning to be vulnerable, which apparently means sharing raw, unfiltered trauma with a woman he met yesterday and then gently touching her elbow to see if she flinches.

I didn’t flinch. But I did finish my wine. And I definitely paid my half.
Because I’ve seen where this goes.
And I’m not auditioning for the role of “Cool New Stepmom Who Doesn’t Ask Questions.”