I’m Not Emotionally Unavailable — I’m Just Pacing Myself Like a Limited Series
I feel things. I just prefer to release them in eight episodes, one week at a time, with a two-year break between seasons.
BREAKING: Man Brags About Minimal Effort While Expecting Maximum Praise
In today’s low-bar Olympics, one local man proudly reports doing the bare minimum — and awaits confetti. Women remain unimpressed.
Local Woman’s “Just Here for Fun” Filtered Through 27-Point Background Check
She says she’s not looking for anything serious — unless you fail her silent screening process for a future husband. Men are calling it “casual with conditions.”
Spot the Date: Woman’s Profile Photo Lineup Triggers Dating App Eye Strain Crisis
In an age of infinite scroll, some women have embraced the chaotic art of hiding in plain sight. Dating men are now asking: am I falling for her… or her best friend?
Casual Dater’s Secret Checklist Leaves Men Ghosted, Graded, and Confused
He thought they were vibing. She thought he failed the third unspoken compatibility test. In modern dating, the rubric is real — you just don’t get to see it.
Local Woman’s Profile Powered Entirely by Pinterest Quotes Raises Alarms for Thought Drought
She’s manifesting love — but only using fonts from 2014. Experts warn the rise in recycled quote bios may signal an originality crisis among romantics.
Financial Freedom Hits Men Like a Mortgage, Women Like a Flight Deal
When men get money, they settle down. When women get money, they level up. It’s not toxic — it’s trending.
My Bio Is My Syllabus: Why Modern Women Are the Problem and I’m the Pre-Recorded Solution
He’s not bitter — he’s just better. A new class of digital bachelors is using their dating bios to diagnose women and pitch themselves as the cure. All in 300 characters or less.