Woman’s Profile Powered by Quotes Raises Alarms for Thought Drought
She’s manifesting love, but only using fonts from 2014. Experts warn the rise in recycled quote bios may signal an originality crisis among romantics.
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Woman Chooses Salad Bar Over Liposuction, Demands Results by Tuesday
Tired of quick fixes that take too long, a local woman is furious that her lettuce hasn’t melted 30 pounds of regret in under a week.
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All-Female Nightclub Shuts Down After Night of Eternal Waiting
An ambitious all-female nightclub experiment collapsed when patrons spent the evening locked in a polite standoff, waiting for someone else to pick up the tab.
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Woman Tries to Eat Clean and Invents New Form of Orthorexia
She just wanted to feel good. Now she fears fruit, distrusts carrots, and weeps at birthday parties.
