Woman Chooses Salad Bar Over Liposuction, Demands Results by Tuesday
Tired of quick fixes that take too long, a local woman is furious that her lettuce hasn’t melted 30 pounds of regret in under a week.
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All-Female Nightclub Shuts Down After Night of Eternal Waiting
An ambitious all-female nightclub experiment collapsed when patrons spent the evening locked in a polite standoff, waiting for someone else to pick up the tab.
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Woman Tries to Eat Clean and Invents New Form of Orthorexia
She just wanted to feel good. Now she fears fruit, distrusts carrots, and weeps at birthday parties.
