DEAR DR. DOCTRINE
Dr. Sabrina Doctrine

My Burnout Coach Gave Me Homework

Filed on July 23, 2025

Dear Dr. Doctrine,

I hired a burnout coach after my manager suggested I “find better tools” for handling stress. It’s been… okay. But after our last session, the coach gave me homework — actual assignments — to “process my overwhelm and create new internal systems.”

The tasks included building a “personal recovery workflow” and scheduling time to “document emotional fatigue metrics.”

I left the session more exhausted than when I walked in.

Am I the problem, or is this just what healing looks like under capitalism?

— System Crash

Dr. Doctrine, PhD

Licensed in Emotional Overreaction

Dear System,

When burnout recovery feels like a team-building retreat hosted by a sentient Excel sheet, it’s safe to say something has gone wrong.

Let’s be clear: you are not the problem. The problem is a culture that expects your coping mechanisms to be as productive as your pain. Somewhere along the way, rest became a deliverable, healing became a workflow, and burnout became an aesthetic.

Your coach isn’t necessarily malicious — but they are participating in a system where recovery gets monetized and exhaustion gets “optimized.” That’s not healing. That’s project management with candles.

You don’t need a personal fatigue dashboard. You need permission to unplug without feeling like a bad employee or a failed adult. And that permission doesn’t come from a task list.

You are not broken. You are reacting appropriately to a system that demands too much and gaslights you for collapsing.

With unapologetically unbillable concern,
— Dr. Doctrine

Ricky Machismo

Look, burnout’s real. I once trained so hard I blacked out mid-squat and woke up hugging a resistance band like it was my childhood dog.

But you don’t fix burnout with homework. That’s just burnout with bullet points.

You want a recovery plan? Here it is:

  1. Hit the gym.

  2. Drink water.

  3. Cry in your car if you have to, but keep it under five minutes and don’t tell Chad.

  4. Delete anyone who says “vibe audit” in a professional setting.

You’re not weak. You’re just tired of pretending “hustle” is a personality.

Rest hard. Come back louder.

— Ricky