Student-Athlete Collective Gains Popularity but Fails to Teach Him the Sport
One minute he’s promised a sponsor-funded highlight reel, the next he’s in a group chat debating whether selling T-shirts counts as “valid business purpose.”
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Fraternity Brother Unsure if He’s in a Brotherhood or Niche Performance Art Collective
Between the matching outfits, rehearsed chants, and ritualized violence disguised as bonding, he’s starting to question whether this is a social club or immersive theater.
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Doctrine | Memes | Mockademia
My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.
I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming our lectures on TikTok “to promote access and engagement.”
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University Adds ‘Emotional Support Friend’ Program to Replace Therapy
Citing budget cuts and “vibe-based student feedback,” a major university has launched a bold initiative: assigning each freshman an “Emotional Support Friend.” No credentials, no training — just someone with Spotify Premium and a vague interest in your wellbeing.
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Student Develops Intense Relationship With God During Finals, Forgets Him by Break
She hadn’t prayed in six months, but during her chemistry exam she started whispering things like “I’ll change” and “Please, just this one time.”
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Culture | Dating | Mockademia
Student Unsure if the Night Was a Hookup or Sociology Experiment
They watched a show, talked about trauma, didn’t kiss, and now she’s unsure whether to text him or cite him in a paper on intimacy theory.
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ASU Effect: Freshman Arrives Average, Graduates as Instagram’s Sun Devil Stereotype
She came for classes but stayed for the “ASU Effect” transformation: 60% hair flipping, 40% filtered sunset selfies, 100% not citing sources in class.
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Freshman Develops Entire Personality Around Dorm LED Lights
He arrived with one suitcase and 36 feet of mood lighting. Two weeks in, he hasn’t spoken to his roommate, but the room looks incredible during Fortnite losses.
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University Implements Mental Health Day and Coincides With Homecoming
Students praised the school’s progressive move to prioritize wellness, especially since it aligned perfectly with beer specials, zero classes, and a Friday football game.
