Sagittarius Season Begins With Loud Apologies
Sagittarius will deliver dramatic public apologies for things they don’t regret.
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Red States Begin Banning Electric Cars for Being “Too Woke”
The movement, unofficially dubbed “Operation Roll Coal 2.0”, started in Mississippi, where State Senator Carl Duntley (R–Hattiesburg) introduced a bill declaring that “electric vehicles represent not only an attack on traditional American energy, but also a threat to masculine identity, family values, and the sacred act of internal combustion.”
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Google Maps Adds ‘Emotional Terrain’ to Help Avoid Bad Vibes
Now rerouting… around your feelings.
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Spotify Introduces “Vibe Score” to Shame Your Taste in Real Time
Your music taste now has consequences.
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Instagram Testing ‘Mood Ratio’ to Quantify Emotional Collapse
Your sadness is now trackable. Brands are already preparing mood-based discounts.
