The Guest List
They met in rooms with velvet walls,
Where money hummed and memory stalls.
A whisper here, a nod, a toast—
Each smile a secret held the most.
Influencer Caught Using Real Emotion, Followers Left Unsettled and Unsure How to Engage
She broke character — and possibly the algorithm — by crying without mascara and admitting she felt “off.” Her engagement dropped instantly.
Doctrine | Memes | Mockademia
My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.
I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming our lectures on TikTok “to promote access and engagement.”
Man Mistaken for Cosplaying Wolverine Was Just a Tired Dad from Burbank
Wearing a tank top and visible stress, he was asked for autographs despite clearly holding a diaper bag and trail mix.
Man Earns Black Belt Online in 6 Weeks — Immediately Opens Dojo in Strip Mall
No prior experience. No in-person training. Just 37 YouTube videos, a PayPal receipt, and a vision. Critics call it fraud. He calls it “modern lineage.”
Business | Culture | Tech | The Mock Locker
Girl Gets 3 Days Detention for AirDropping Inspirational Quote
A sophomore’s digital pep talk spiraled into a disciplinary crackdown after students began feeling mildly better about themselves.
Zendaya & Tom Holland Deny Their Relationship Is “Just for PR”
In an exclusive sit-down with Chaz Blamington, America’s favorite maybe-couple answers the question on everyone’s feed: Are they dating, acting, or just in a longform branded campaign for Gen Z affection? The results were romantic, confusing, and allegedly unscripted.
Culture | HERsay | MANalogue | Mental | Relationship
I’m Not Ghosting You. I’m Dissociating With Style.
Yes, I saw your text. I even rehearsed a reply in three emotional dialects. Then I floated into the ceiling like an emotionally unavailable Roomba.
Streaming Service Launches Entirely for Shows You Lie About Watching
Introducing “Pretendlix”: Finally, a platform for prestige dramas you’ll never open, but always bring up in conversation.
Culture | Dating | Mockademia
Student Unsure if Last Night Was a Hookup, a Hangout, or a Four-Credit Sociology Experiment
They watched a show, talked about trauma, didn’t kiss, and now she’s unsure whether to text him or cite him in a paper on intimacy theory.
ASU Effect: Freshman Arrives Average, Graduates as Instagram’s Sun Devil Stereotype
She came for classes but stayed for the “ASU Effect” transformation: 60% hair flipping, 40% filtered sunset selfies, 100% not citing sources in class.