I Won the Lottery: 6 Things I did wrong
From announcing it on Facebook to Venmoing my ex, here’s a comprehensive guide to ruining sudden wealth in 72 hours.
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New Tariffs Help Americans Pay More, Feel Patriotic Doing It
Supporters say higher tariffs punish China — economists say they mostly punish checkout lines in Ohio. Either way, someone’s winning. It’s not you.
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Man Quietly Wins Lottery And Suddenly Becomes “Soulmate” of 43 Women
He told no one, but somehow every ex, classmate, and distant cousin sensed he’d become spiritually attractive overnight.
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Culture | DeMockracy | Tech | UnAsked | US
Hunter Biden’s Laptop: “I Just Wanted to Be a Printer.”
In an exclusive sit-down, Patty Patricide interviews the most litigated, subpoenaed, and emotionally neglected piece of tech in American history. Yes — the laptop.
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Red States Begin Banning Electric Cars for Being “Too Woke”
The movement, unofficially dubbed “Operation Roll Coal 2.0”, started in Mississippi, where State Senator Carl Duntley (R–Hattiesburg) introduced a bill declaring that “electric vehicles represent not only an attack on traditional American energy, but also a threat to masculine identity, family values, and the sacred act of internal combustion.”
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Business | Culture | Tech | The Mock Locker
Girl Gets 3 Days Detention for AirDropping Inspirational Quote
A sophomore’s digital pep talk spiraled into a disciplinary crackdown after students began feeling mildly better about themselves.
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Doctrine | Relationship | Work
My boss keeps trying to gamify our sadness
My boss recently introduced a new ’emotional wellness initiative’ where we track our feelings in a Slack channel and earn points for vulnerability.
