Voters Admit They’d Prefer Spectacle Over Substance in 2028 Debates
Americans report more excitement for imagined cage matches than policy talk, confirming debates function less as discourse and more as televised endurance tests.
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Americans report more excitement for imagined cage matches than policy talk, confirming debates function less as discourse and more as televised endurance tests.
The president’s excitement to have Putin encounter echoed less statesmanship, more autograph signing at a high school gym.
With artists declining the invite, Trump’s team has pivoted to a lineup that includes karaoke by Lindell and a full set from Kid Rock. Dress code: patriotism or sequins.
After accusing the band of hijacking the spotlight, Trump now insists Coldplay make it right—on stage, under his terms, and in red ties.
The White House announced the termination after internal reports showed job numbers that “lacked proper enthusiasm for the President’s personal greatness.”
The justices issued a rare joint opinion confirming that most Americans think the Court is either a game show, a Hogwarts house, or some kind of retirement reward.
After conservative commentator Clay Travis made his teens read Kamala Harris’s 107 Days book as punishment, they began asking thoughtful, well-reasoned political questions. A household crisis ensued.
Supporters say higher tariffs punish China — economists say they mostly punish checkout lines in Ohio. Either way, someone’s winning. It’s not you.
They met in rooms with velvet walls,
Where money hummed and memory stalls.
A whisper here, a nod, a toast—
Each smile a secret held the most.
By passing on 2026 gubernatorial bidding, Harris confirms she’s staying national—claiming vindication for calling Trump-era collapse early.
Being intelligent is not the same as being knowledgeable. Many intelligent people do dumb things. We don’t need more noise. We need more pauses.
Trump calls for transparency, flirts with Kara, and accidentally invents a new legal doctrine: “Guilt is subjective if you squint.”