Mockitors

Lex brings career advice you didn’t ask for—optimized, tokenized, and aggressively networked.

Ricky critiques masculinity the way he lifts weights—loudly, shirtless, and with bad form.

Reports from the edge of sanity—Norman files cultural and political audits like he’s submitting evidence to Congress, because sometimes he is.

Lance files grievances like Yelp reviews—sharp, personal, and always with a suggested solution.

Patty decodes cinematic nonsense with a director’s eye and a troll’s heart.

Babs unpacks trauma and trending audios with the same urgency—both are clout currency.

Scott keeps the office clean and the secrets dirty.

Max writes like he’s shouting from a stadium blimp—and you’re still not paying enough attention.

Decoding fame, fashion, and your latest spiral. Lux files it all under performance art with a moodboard and mild psychosis.

Every sentence a silhouette. Aria walks the line between elegance and evisceration, documenting image as identity’s last defense.