The Death of Common Sense in the Age of Outrage

In a hushed corner of the internet, Common Sense died sometime last year. Its passing went largely unnoticed, possibly because no one could agree on what it meant anymore.

Born in a more analog era, Common Sense rose to popularity as the unofficial voice of reason in households, schools, and unheated Twitter arguments. It enjoyed a relatively stable existence until 2007, when it was tagged in a photo with Facebook and began a steady decline.

Doctors cite long-term exposure to viral trends, overconfident podcasters, and YouTube comment sections as contributing factors to its demise. “We tried everything,” said Dr. Sabrina Doctrine, a longtime observer. “Debate. Critical thinking. Even a few fact-checks. But the patient stopped responding after ‘Do your own research’ became a threat, not advice.”

Common Sense was predeceased by Attention Span and Nuance. It is survived by Loud Opinions, Conspiracy Theories, and Gut Instinct, all of whom are doing just fine, thank you very much.

A private service will be held in the back of your high school civics teacher’s mind, where Common Sense will be remembered fondly but never enforced.

In lieu of flowers, mourners are asked to simply pause before speaking, though early reports suggest that request is already being ignored.