Politicians Celebrate Christmas by Cutting Food Programs the Next Morning
Politicians praise generosity on Christmas Day, then move to cut food assistance programs the next morning, proving empathy has a very short shelf life.
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Americans Demand ‘Keep Christ in Christmas,’ Ignore Everything Christ Actually Said
Americans demand Christ stay in Christmas, while supporting policies that cut food, healthcare, and aid Jesus explicitly taught people to provide.
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Powerball at $1.6B: For A Night, Everyone Has a Financial Plan
On Powerball night, Americans suddenly have detailed financial plans, revealing less about greed and more about how desperate people are for stability.
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Wellness Gurus Say Sleep Is Free, Forgetting Rent Costs $2,000 a Month
Sleep is free, say wellness gurus. For everyone else, rent costs $2,000 and uninterrupted rest feels like another luxury no one can afford.
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Experts Say Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But $900M Down Payment Doesn’t Hurt
Two unknown Powerball winners split $1.8B, while experts insist money can’t buy happiness—yet the nation imagines every way it absolutely could.
