If DEI Protected Against Weight Bias, Half of America Would Suddenly Love It
Critics hate DEI when it’s about race. But if hiring bias shifted to weight, suddenly two-thirds of America would be waving rainbow-colored DEI flags.
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MAGA Crowd Cheers Both Forgiveness and Hate, Hypocrisy as Love Language
One rally. Two lines. MAGA cheered for Christian forgiveness and then for unfiltered hatred. Turns out hypocrisy sounds best with a backing track of Kid Rock.
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Immigrants Still Taking American Jobs, Mostly the Ones No One Else Wants
Americans say immigrants are stealing jobs, just not the ones that involve heat, lifting, or responsibility.
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Trump Deploys Guards to D.C. and Chicago While Red States Get Free Disney Tickets
When the cities he targets aren’t even in the worst states for violence, it’s hard to spin this as a crime-fighting mission.
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Men Against Trans Rights Confirmed to Be Expecting, Due Any Minute
The loudest men against trans rights look like they’re nursing twins, expecting triplets, and auditioning to breastfeed the hypocrisy right out of themselves.
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MAGA Furious at Newsom for Copying Trump’s Tweet Style While Accidentally Roasting Themselves
MAGA supporters called Gavin Newsom “immature” and a “loser” for copying Trump’s Twitter style, accidentally describing both their leader and themselves.
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Turning Point Demands “All-American” Super Bowl Halftime Show, Accidentally Serves Tacos at the Press Conference
Turning Point USA wants an “All-American” Super Bowl halftime show to protest Bad Bunny’s Spanish lyrics, accidentally serving tacos while ignoring that Trump’s own rallies played Latin salsa hits.
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Scientists Confirm Straight Couples Responsible for Every Gay Person on Earth
Gay people don’t make more gay people, straight couples do. Which means if you hate gay people, maybe stop having sex, Karen and Chad.
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MAGA Declares “I Am Charlie,” Accidentally Admits They Too Oppose Logic
“I Am Charlie” is the new MAGA slogan. But standing with Kirk really means defending shaky beliefs on race, guns, and logic itself.
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Only in America Can a Felon Blame Felons and Immigrants
A convicted felon with an immigrant spouse tells America that felons and immigrants are the problem. The audience applauds, then asks for an encore.
