Trump Claims He Was President of United States “In a Spiritual Sense” Since 2016

Speaking at a campaign rally in rural Pennsylvania on Saturday, former President Donald Trump assured supporters that while Joe Biden may hold the current title, he has remained “spiritually” president since 2016 — and possibly even “before that.”

“I never left,” Trump said, addressing a crowd wearing red, white, and multiple shades of metaphysical delusion. “They tried to remove me, but you can’t impeach a frequency.”

The comment sparked applause, prayer circles, and one spontaneous speaking-in-tongues incident near the funnel cake stand.

Trump clarified that although he no longer resides in the White House, he maintains an “energetic leadership field” that hovers “just over the nation, guiding everything from interest rates to fast food menus.”

According to Lux,

“We’ve now entered the holographic presidency: part spiritual retreat, part personality cult, part concert series with no openers.”

Campaign aides later explained that Trump’s “spiritual presidency” includes:

• Appearing in dreams to small business owners
• Having executive thoughts that manifest as Truth Social posts
• Quietly overriding Biden’s decisions via vibes

When pressed by reporters, Trump pointed to his chest and said, “This is where the presidency lives now. Not in the Oval Office. Not in Congress. Right here, in the sternum. Ask anyone.”

While legal analysts were quick to dismiss the claim, supporters online launched the hashtag #MyAuraMyPresident, which briefly trended before being overtaken by an unrelated post about Ron DeSantis wearing boat shoes indoors.

In closing remarks, Trump said he hopes to “return to the physical presidency soon,” but added, “even if I don’t, I’ve already returned in the hearts and chakras of the American people.” His supporters believed everything he said and sold everything they had to buy his crypto.