Clay Travis Punished His Kids by Making Them Read Kamala’s Book, Now They Ask Smart Questions

NEW YORK, NY — What began as a lighthearted Fox News segment about parental discipline has now spiraled into an unexpected PR crisis. During a recent broadcast, Clay Travis told Jesse Watters that he planned to punish his teenage sons by forcing them to read Vice President Kamala Harris’s memoir, “The 107 Days” — a behind-the-scenes account of her 2024 campaign flameout.

“If they act up again,” Travis joked, “I’ll make them read the book and write a book report out of it.” But in an incident now being referred to as the “Great Cognitive Awakening of the Travis Household,” his disciplinary strategy has reportedly backfired with intellectual consequences.

Reports indicate that within two weeks, the children began using terms like “nuance,” “constitutional checks,” and “logical inconsistency.” One child allegedly asked, “If Donald Trump respects the Constitution so much, why did he try to overturn an election?” before citing a reputable source, not a meme.

Watters, eager for a follow-up during a segment ironically titled Raising Patriots, arranged an exclusive on-air interview with the Travis teens, expecting groans, eye-rolls, and snark. Instead, he was met with calm analysis, precise citations, and a disturbing familiarity with the Federal Election Commission.

“We thought it’d be boring,” said Clay’s eldest, a high school junior, “but the structural failures of the campaign actually mirrored broader patterns of disengagement among the Democratic base post-2022. So… yeah. It got interesting.”

Watters attempted to pivot, asking if they now supported Kamala.

“Not sure yet,” the younger son replied. “But we’re confused why anyone would use a political memoir as punishment if they haven’t read the book. It’s very well articulated compared to Trump’s confusing rants. Also, do you know how tariffs work or just follows a script?”

At one point in the segment, Watters asked whether they’d still vote Republican in 2028. The response:

“Depends. Are we talking real conservatism or performative grievance cosplay? Because if it’s the latter, we might just start a ranked-choice TikTok party.”

Behind the scenes, producers reportedly cut the interview short after one teen began cross-referencing Trump’s 2024 campaign speeches with World Book Encyclopedia entries from 1930s.

Concerned, Clay Travis consulted a specialist in conservative child re-education, but progress has been slow. “They’re holding their arguments until all sides are presented,” he lamented. “It’s exhausting.” He said he would now “reevaluate the role of literature as a form of punishment.”