Coldplay Declines Trump’s Ask to Perform at Rally

LOS ANGELES, CA — Coldplay has issued a brief but definitive response to Donald Trump’s recent request that they perform at one of his rallies to “return the spotlight” following their concert’s viral media moment.

In a statement released via their publicist, the band wrote:

“While we appreciate that music can bring people together, we regret to inform Mr. Trump that we are currently unavailable, for the foreseeable future, and in general.”

The band added that they are “deeply committed to remaining politically neutral in live performance settings,” unless those settings involve “climate awareness, human rights, or causes that do not include personal brand restoration via backing vocals.”

Coldplay also expressed confusion over the initial demand.

“We were not aware that attention could be repossessed like property,” the statement continued. “But we wish him well in reclaiming whatever spotlight he believes was taken.”

Chris Martin, the band’s frontman, was reportedly informed of the situation mid-rehearsal. “Wait—he wants us to play Fix You at a campaign event?” Martin allegedly asked. “That’s… poetic, in a way I’m not comfortable with.”

Fans of the band have responded overwhelmingly in support of the decision. One top comment on the band’s post read, “Coldplay just used ‘no’ like a chord progression. Graceful. Final.”

Trump’s team has yet to respond, though a senior aide has floated the possibility of booking “a Coldplay cover band out of Sarasota” as a compromise.

Related article: Trump Demands Coldplay Perform at Rally to Replay Stolen Attention