Dating Resolutions for 2026 Made by People Who Will Ignore Them by February

Hope renewed. Judgment pending.

As the clock ticks toward 2026, singles everywhere are once again announcing dating resolutions with the confidence of people who absolutely did not follow last year’s.

This time will be different. Not because of growth. But because the calendar changed and that feels legally binding.

Resolution One: Stop Dating Red Flags

In 2026, people swear they will no longer date obvious red flags. This includes anyone who says they are “not ready,” “really busy right now,” or “bad at communication,” while somehow always available to argue online.

This resolution will last until the first person with good hair and unresolved trauma says “hey.”

Resolution Two: No More Situationships

Singles are officially done with situationships, meaning they will stop pretending undefined relationships are romantic and start calling them what they are: unpaid emotional internships.

Unfortunately, the word “vibes” will still derail this plan immediately.

Resolution Three: Ask Where This Is Going Early

In 2026, people promise to ask “what are we doing” within the first few dates instead of waiting three months and then being shocked by the answer.

This question will still be avoided out of fear of seeming “intense,” which is dating code for having expectations.

Resolution Four: Believe Actions, Not Apologies

This year, singles vow to judge people by what they do, not what they promise to do after disappointing you.

This resolution ends the moment someone says “I’ve just been really stressed lately” in a sincere tone.

Resolution Five: Delete the Apps

Every January, millions of people delete dating apps in a symbolic gesture of self-respect.

By mid-January, they reinstall them “just to check,” which somehow turns into three hours of swiping and a date with someone who owns exactly one piece of furniture.

Resolution Six: Leave Sooner

In 2026, people promise they will leave the moment something feels off.

They will not. They will stay to see if it improves, worsens, or becomes a personality flaw they learn to tolerate.

The Real Resolution

The real dating resolution for 2026 is not finding the one. It is convincing yourself you have learned something while repeating the same patterns with slightly better boundaries and a new haircut.

Progress is progress.

And if this year does not work out, there is always 2027, the year everyone finally gets it right. Probably.