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Americans Demand ‘Keep Christ in Christmas,’ Ignore Everything Christ Actually Said
Americans demand Christ stay in Christmas, while supporting policies that cut food, healthcare, and aid Jesus explicitly taught people to…
Powerball at $1.6B: For A Night, Everyone Has a Financial Plan
On Powerball night, Americans suddenly have detailed financial plans, revealing less about greed and more about how desperate people are…
FIFA Presents Trump With Peace Award, Unsure What Sport Peace Plays
Somewhere between a goalpost and a grift. In a move that confused diplomats, historians, and anyone familiar with basic job…
Woman Proudly Says She’s on a Budget and Still Orders Drinks Like a Wizard
She brought coupons to lunch and wore a thrifted blazer. But at the bar, she summoned a $19 potion that…
Christmas Break Explained by a High School Student Who Has Already Lost Track of Time
A high school student explains Christmas break, from sleeping until noon to panicking about school returning, in a perfectly chaotic…
Woman Opens New Credit Card to Prove She’s Emotionally Ready for Europe
She’s not impulsive. She’s preparing. Financial experts are unclear if €14 rosé in Lisbon counts as personal growth, but she’s…
Gen Z Replaces Personality With Entire Slideshows About Boundaries
Don’t ask how they’re doing, just check Slide 4. A new communication trend is turning personal space into deck…
Rebranding Emotional Baggage as ‘Vintage Trauma’ Helps Millennials Feel Curated
Your childhood wasn’t a mess, it was an aesthetic origin story. And now, thanks to good lighting and better language,…
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