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Millions Celebrate Crackdown on “Antifa,” Still Unsure Whether It’s a Band, a Virus, or a Salad Ingredient
Trump’s move to label Antifa a terrorist group has supporters celebrating the end of something they still can’t define, identify,…
Detox Teas That Melt Fat Fast: Science Says They Drain Your Wallet, Not Your Waistline
Detox teas promise miracles, celebrity endorsements swear by them, and science says they just flush out money faster than toxins.
Trump Deploys Guards to D.C. and Chicago While Red States Get Free Disney Tickets
When the cities he targets aren’t even in the worst states for violence, it’s hard to spin this as a…
Men Against Trans Rights Confirmed to Be Expecting, Due Any Minute
The loudest men against trans rights look like they’re nursing twins, expecting triplets, and auditioning to breastfeed the hypocrisy right…
Gavin Newsom Awarded Nobel Peace Prize, Trump Calls It “Rigged Like a Leaf Blower”
Gavin Newsom wins the Nobel Peace Prize for political calm and climate leadership, while Trump insists he was “robbed by…
Founding Fathers Issue Statement from the Afterlife: “Don’t Fuck With Our Constitution. Still No Kings!”
From the afterlife, America’s Founding Fathers release a rare joint statement: “Don’t mess with our Constitution. Still no kings. Seriously,…
Nation Prepares for “No Kings” March, Conservatives Bracing for Outbreak of Democracy
Officials brace for the “No Kings” March as conservatives warn of mass democracy exposure and protesters prepare to celebrate America’s…
GOP Calls “No Kings” March Anti-American, Forgetting America’s Entire Origin Story
Protesters rally under the banner “No Kings,” prompting GOP outrage and a reminder that 1776 was basically the same event…
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