Casual Dater’s Secret Checklist Leaves Men Ghosted, Graded, and Confused

When Ben, 35, shared that he didn’t own a second property — or even a first — he didn’t expect it to end the conversation. “She asked if I liked to travel,” he said. “I said sure, mostly road trips. She said ‘cute’ and never replied again.”

At first, he thought it was a signal drop. Then he remembered the question before that: “What are your views on prenups?”

Dating experts call it Checklist Casual — a growing trend in which singles pretend to be low-pressure, fun-loving, vibe-based daters, while secretly running a silent, dealbreaker-heavy vetting system under the surface. It’s like a job interview with no resume, no warning, and no callback.

“I had no idea I was in a compatibility exam,” Ben told The Mocking Post. “I just thought we were laughing about Trader Joe’s.”

According to relationship strategist Dr. Petra Vonn, this behavior has surged in the past three years. “Post-pandemic dating created a strange hybrid culture,” she explained. “People want freedom and a plan. They say ‘no expectations,’ but maintain a full spreadsheet of red flags and net worth minimums.”

One leaked checklist, circulating anonymously on Reddit, included such criteria as:

• Doesn’t ask me to split the check
• Has been to Europe more than twice
• Lives alone with washer/dryer in-unit
• Emotionally available but not too into me
• No fantasy football
• Owns at least one passport stamp from a healing trip

“They’ll ghost you over the most obscure line item,” said Sean, 31, who claims he was unmatched mid-conversation after revealing he “doesn’t really do astrology.” “She said I gave her ‘earth sign energy’ and vanished.”

Dating app data shows a subtle gender divide: while many men post vague, unserious bios (“let’s get tacos and vibe”), women often show up in person with a layered mental rubric and a 2–3 date evaluation process that was never disclosed.

“It’s like dating someone in stealth HR,” said Derek Brutal. “They say they’re just seeing where things go. But really, you already failed because you don’t ski.”

For men trying to navigate this terrain, experts suggest being honest — and emotionally prepared to be disqualified for things you didn’t know were part of the audition.

Because in 2025, even a casual drink might come with a silent scorecard — and apparently, the lack of a vacation home puts you below passing.