Man Says He Lifts for His Mental Health and also Lifting for Revenge
Jason says the gym is his therapy. And to be fair, he’s there six days a week, rain or shine, headphones on, jaw locked, visibly confronting something invisible.
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Woman Tries to Eat Clean and Invents New Form of Orthorexia
She just wanted to feel good. Now she fears fruit, distrusts carrots, and weeps at birthday parties.
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Man Optimizes Sleep Aggressively He Forgets to Enjoy Being Awake
He tracks his REM cycles, avoids blue light, and winds down with magnesium tea and war podcasts — but no longer remembers what dreams feel like.
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Woman Buys 10 Journals, Writes in None
She wanted clarity, mindfulness, and a page-a-day system for reinventing her life. Instead, she has a growing pile of untouched intentions in muted earth tones.
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Google Maps Adds ‘Emotional Terrain’ to Help Avoid Bad Vibes
Now rerouting… around your feelings.
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Fitness and Health Resolutions for 2026 Made by People Who Hate January
Americans announce bold fitness resolutions for 2026, fully aware motivation will disappear by mid-January but hopeful the new gear lasts longer.
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Man Spends More on Supplements Than Rent and Still Won’t Get Bloodwork
He’s on six nootropics, four testosterone boosters, and one mushroom powder from a guy named Craig. But a $92 lab test? “Feels invasive.”
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Woman Diagnosed with ‘Just Hormones’ for 17th Time This Year
She reported pain, insomnia, and emotional shifts. Her doctor responded with a shrug, a pamphlet, and a gentle suggestion to “try yoga.”
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Woman Chooses Salad Bar Over Liposuction, Demands Results by Tuesday
Tired of quick fixes that take too long, a local woman is furious that her lettuce hasn’t melted 30 pounds of regret in under a week.
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Detox Teas That Melt Fat Fast: Science Says They Drain Your Wallet, Not Your Waistline
Detox teas promise miracles, celebrity endorsements swear by them, and science says they just flush out money faster than toxins.
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Men Against Trans Rights Confirmed to Be Expecting, Due Any Minute
The loudest men against trans rights look like they’re nursing twins, expecting triplets, and auditioning to breastfeed the hypocrisy right out of themselves.
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Wellness Gurus Say Sleep Is Free, Forgetting Rent Costs $2,000 a Month
Sleep is free, say wellness gurus. For everyone else, rent costs $2,000 and uninterrupted rest feels like another luxury no one can afford.
