Trump Demands Coldplay Perform at Rally to Repay “Stolen Attention”
After accusing the band of hijacking the spotlight, Trump now insists Coldplay make it right—on stage, under his terms, and in red ties.
After accusing the band of hijacking the spotlight, Trump now insists Coldplay make it right—on stage, under his terms, and in red ties.
The White House announced the termination after internal reports showed job numbers that “lacked proper enthusiasm for the President’s personal greatness.”
The justices issued a rare joint opinion confirming that most Americans think the Court is either a game show, a Hogwarts house, or some kind of retirement reward.
From announcing it on Facebook to Venmoing my ex, here’s a comprehensive guide to ruining sudden wealth in 72 hours.
After conservative commentator Clay Travis made his teens read Kamala Harris’s 107 Days book as punishment, they began asking thoughtful, well-reasoned political questions. A household crisis ensued.
Supporters say higher tariffs punish China — economists say they mostly punish checkout lines in Ohio. Either way, someone’s winning. It’s not you.
When recruiters vanish mid-process, it’s not unprofessional—it’s a growth opportunity. Real winners treat rejection like a networking event they weren’t invited to.
They met in rooms with velvet walls,
Where money hummed and memory stalls.
A whisper here, a nod, a toast—
Each smile a secret held the most.
By passing on 2026 gubernatorial bidding, Harris confirms she’s staying national—claiming vindication for calling Trump-era collapse early.
He told no one, but somehow every ex, classmate, and distant cousin sensed he’d become spiritually attractive overnight.
Being intelligent is not the same as being knowledgeable. Many intelligent people do dumb things. We don’t need more noise. We need more pauses.
Trump calls for transparency, flirts with Kara, and accidentally invents a new legal doctrine: “Guilt is subjective if you squint.”