MAGA Declares “I Am Charlie,” Accidentally Admits They Too Oppose Logic
“I Am Charlie” is the new MAGA slogan. But standing with Kirk really means defending shaky beliefs on race, guns, and logic itself.
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“I Am Charlie” is the new MAGA slogan. But standing with Kirk really means defending shaky beliefs on race, guns, and logic itself.
Farmers overwhelmingly backed Trump, but one psychic farmer learned the hard way that bankruptcy is easier to predict with numbers than with vibes and lack of education.
A convicted felon with an immigrant spouse tells America that felons and immigrants are the problem. The audience applauds, then asks for an encore.
They say Obama divided America. But birther lies, Charlie Kirk’s race hysteria, and racist withdrawal fractured society long before any presidency ever could.
Republicans would deport Him, Democrats would over-schedule Him, and both would scramble to spin His parables into campaign slogans.
Trump’s own admission lines up neatly with national data: college-educated voters lean Democratic, while Republicans court the proudly unlettered.
Many Americans are rejecting socialism they can’t describe in favor of fascism they can’t recognize, proving definitions are optional in modern politics.
Kirk’s quotes on race cast doubt on how he’d reconcile his devotion to Christ if confronted with a Jesus who looked nothing like the America-first figure in his imagination.
Kirk’s death has transformed him from culture war pundit to MAGA martyr, his most controversial words now rebranded as sacred scripture.
Americans report more excitement for imagined cage matches than policy talk, confirming debates function less as discourse and more as televised endurance tests.
The president’s excitement to have Putin encounter echoed less statesmanship, more autograph signing at a high school gym.
With artists declining the invite, Trump’s team has pivoted to a lineup that includes karaoke by Lindell and a full set from Kid Rock. Dress code: patriotism or sequins.