Must Align With My Unwavering Beliefs Sourced Exclusively From YouTube
He doesn’t need to be perfect — he just needs to believe what I believe, in the exact order I learned it from five unrelated men in trucker hats speaking into lapel mics.
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My Bio Says ‘No Drama,’ My Communication Says ‘Escape Room’
She claims to be low-maintenance. Meanwhile, her texts require three close reads, a mood decoder, and a minor in interpretive linguistics.
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Modern Romance Thrives as Couples Avoid Meeting in Person Indefinitely
They text, they DM, they send playlists, but they’ve never met. Experts say a growing number of “relationships” now exist entirely in the pre-date abyss, where hope and fear hold hands and never leave the house.
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BREAKING: Man Brags About Minimal Effort While Expecting Maximum Praise
In today’s low-bar Olympics, one local man proudly reports doing the bare minimum — and awaits confetti. Women remain unimpressed.
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Local Woman’s “Just Here for Fun” Filtered Through 27-Point Background Check
She says she’s not looking for anything serious, unless you fail her silent screening process for a future husband. Men are calling it “casual with conditions.”
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Casual Dater’s Secret Checklist Leaves Men Ghosted, Graded, and Confused
He thought they were vibing. She thought he failed the third unspoken compatibility test. In modern dating, the rubric is real, you just don’t get to see it.
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Woman’s Profile Powered by Quotes Raises Alarms for Thought Drought
She’s manifesting love, but only using fonts from 2014. Experts warn the rise in recycled quote bios may signal an originality crisis among romantics.
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Dating | Entertainment | Media
Influencer Couple Announces Divorce via Brand Partnership
The emotional breakup video is sponsored by HelloFresh, NordVPN, and a limited-edition candle called “Closure.”
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Doctrine | Relationship | Work
My boss keeps trying to gamify our sadness
My boss recently introduced a new ’emotional wellness initiative’ where we track our feelings in a Slack channel and earn points for vulnerability.
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My roommate schedules ‘silent disco crying sessions’
My roommate, Jess, has started hosting something she calls ‘Silent Disco Crying Sessions’ in our living room.
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Why Modern Women Are the Problem and I’m the Pre-Recorded Solution
He’s not bitter, he’s just better. A new class of digital bachelors is using their dating bios to diagnose women and pitch themselves as the cure. All in 300 characters or less.
