Freshman Develops Entire Personality Around Dorm LED Lights

It started in the first ten minutes of move-in day. The walls were blank. The vibe was off. So he did what any emotionally unprepared 18-year-old with Prime Student would do:
He wrapped his personality in LEDs.

Now, two weeks in, the room glows purple between the hours of 6 p.m. and 2 a.m., during which he primarily eats sour candy, scrolls TikTok with earbuds in, and cycles through five lighting presets named after emotions he doesn’t have language for yet.

He calls it “ambience.”
His roommate calls it “constant and confusing.”
No one’s entirely sure what major he’s in, but his lighting is set to respond to the bass in his YouTube Lo-fi playlist.

“I just feel more like me with the lights on,” he told nobody, because he hasn’t spoken out loud since orientation.

Keanu, familiar with the ritual, notes:
“Every year, a new batch of freshmen tries to out-vibe the fact that they don’t know who they are yet. It’s not a dorm — it’s an aesthetic bunker.”

The lights blink through heartbreak. Through skipped lectures. Through long Discord calls with people he’ll never meet. They flash when he microwaves quesadillas at 3 a.m. They pulse to a curated playlist called “Existential Glow.”

And still, no one has learned his name.