Charlie Kirk Dies, MAGA Declares a Martyr and Saint

Phoenix, AZ — Charlie Kirk’s death has prompted a wave of tributes from the MAGA movement, who are wasting no time elevating him to something resembling sainthood. Forget Vatican processes; the only miracle required here was a decent turnout at a Turning Point USA conference.

Kirk, who once proudly declared “I can’t stand the word empathy… it’s a made-up, new age term that does a lot of damage,” is now being remembered as a man of “great compassion and faith.” In MAGA circles, empathy may have been “toxic,” but apparently martyrdom cleanses everything.

Supporters cite his unwavering Christian values, such as comparing transgender identity to “wearing Blackface,” or insisting “prowling Blacks go around for fun to target white people.” To his admirers, these weren’t divisive remarks, they were modern parables, just with less Jesus and more outrage marketing.

Gun rights groups have latched on to Kirk’s most enduring scripture: “It’s worth it to have some gun deaths every year so we can have the Second Amendment.” Critics noted this sounded less like theology and more like a Costco bulk-buy policy. Still, in the eyes of his followers, Kirk died as he lived — defending the sacred right to say the quiet part out loud.

Meanwhile, in Evergreen, Colorado, just hours before MAGA’s canonization tour began, a 16-year-old student, Desmond Holly, opened fire at Evergreen High School. He wounded two classmates critically (one inside the school, the other outside), before turning the gun on himself and dying. One victim remained in critical condition into the evening, and the other was stable.

But while the Evergreen shooting produced heartbreak and urgent demands for answers, it barely disrupted the narrative in conservative media streams — no martyrdom, no merch, just another tragedy filed away, ignored as background noise.

Women’s groups, however, point to his advice that “stay-at-home moms are heroes” and that younger women should prioritize marriage over education. It’s unclear whether Kirk’s wife, who is older, college-educated, and outspoken, was consulted for the canonization process.

None of this matters to the faithful. At Mar-a-Lago, Trump praised Kirk as “irreplaceable,” before immediately requesting résumés for anyone who could yell louder, more divisive, point harder, and monetize faster. Turning Point USA has already scheduled a commemorative conference titled Saint Charlie and the Death of Empathy, complete with VIP seating near the merch table.

For MAGA, sainthood isn’t about a life of miracles. It’s about having enough soundbites to keep the culture war running after you’re gone. Kirk provided plenty, and mastered the art of using allure and divisiveness to attract controversy. In the new conservative calendar, expect feast days not just for Easter and Christmas, but for the anniversary of every controversial quote that can still fill a donation bucket.