Raccoon With Spinal Condition Now Outperforming Marketing Team
A Seattle marketing agency concedes defeat after a raccoon with a spinal condition quietly outperforms its entire Q3 campaign.
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DeMockracy | US
Trump Announces New Evidence Will Be Released “Very Soon,” Nation Checks Calendar Again
Trump’s promised evidence is always described as overwhelming, imminent, and somehow perpetually one news cycle away that never comes.
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Everyone Wants Emotional Availability, Nobody Wants Emotional Honesty
Modern dating celebrates emotional availability until someone is honest enough to say what nobody wants to hear.
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Americans Can’t Afford Eggs, Somehow Still Buying Stanley Cups
Americans scrutinize grocery prices while enthusiastically collecting trendy tumblers that somehow never make it into the monthly budget.
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Vacation Photos Now Take Longer Than the Vacation
Modern vacations are less about relaxing and more about proving you relaxed, one perfectly staged photo at a time.
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What We Think Our Readers Look Like (Please Don’t Correct Us)
We made a list of the archetypes who read The Mocking Post. If you’re here, you’re probably a little too online, too smart for your job, and oddly passionate about fonts. We love you.
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Influencers Are the New Gods and We Built the Religion Ourselves
The influencer class has become our modern clergy, they blessing products, cursing restaurants, and performing miracles like turning vanity into income.
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If DEI Protected Against Weight Bias, Half of America Would Suddenly Love It
Critics hate DEI when it’s about race. But if hiring bias shifted to weight, suddenly two-thirds of America would be waving rainbow-colored DEI flags.
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Pam Bondi on Power, Politics, and Prosecuting Trump
In our latest UnAsked, Pam Bondi opens up about her loyalty to Trump, her take on Florida justice, and her definition of “ethics,” which appears to include consulting fees.
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AI Just Took Your Entry-Level Job, But Don’t Worry, The CEO Got a Bonus for It
Companies claim AI makes them more efficient. Translation: no new hires, record profits, and a CEO so rich he now identifies as a data set.
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Millions Still Waiting for the Rapture, Ignoring Every Other Thing That’s Already Come for Them
Millions still cling to the Rapture prophecy, waiting for salvation that’ll never come, despite already being left behind by education, logic, and rent payments.
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MAGA Crowd Cheers Both Forgiveness and Hate, Hypocrisy as Love Language
One rally. Two lines. MAGA cheered for Christian forgiveness and then for unfiltered hatred. Turns out hypocrisy sounds best with a backing track of Kid Rock.
