Scientists Confirm Straight Couples Responsible for Every Gay Person on Earth
Gay people don’t make more gay people, straight couples do. Which means if you hate gay people, maybe stop having sex, Karen and Chad.
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MAGA Declares “I Am Charlie,” Accidentally Admits They Too Oppose Logic
“I Am Charlie” is the new MAGA slogan. But standing with Kirk really means defending shaky beliefs on race, guns, and logic itself.
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MAGA Psychic Farmer Files for Bankruptcy, Shocked He Didn’t See It Coming
Farmers overwhelmingly backed Trump, but one psychic farmer learned the hard way that bankruptcy is easier to predict with numbers than with vibes and lack of education.
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If Jesus Came to America, Neither Party Would Claim Him
Republicans would deport Him, Democrats would over-schedule Him, and both would scramble to spin His parables into campaign slogans.
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Smart People Don’t Like Me, and the Polling Proves It
Trump’s own admission lines up neatly with national data: college-educated voters lean Democratic, while Republicans court the proudly unlettered.
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Charlie Kirk Dies, MAGA Declares a Martyr and Saint
Kirk’s death has transformed him from culture war pundit to MAGA martyr, his most controversial words now rebranded as sacred scripture.
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The Death of Modesty: Last Seen in a Beige Sweater
Modesty passed quietly, outdressed and outposted by louder personalities who listed humility as a brand strategy.
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The Death of the Conservative Christian Conscience
Mourned by scripture, survived by culture wars, the Conservative Christian Conscience passed quietly after years of rationalizing the irrational.
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We’re Live. At Least According to the Voices in Marketing
After months of tweaking headlines and taming rogue mockitors, The Mocking Post is officially—probably—live. Refresh if you dare.
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Student-Athlete Collective Gains Popularity but Fails to Teach Him the Sport
One minute he’s promised a sponsor-funded highlight reel, the next he’s in a group chat debating whether selling T-shirts counts as “valid business purpose.”
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How We Got Here, The Mocking Post Idea
We didn’t launch a satire site—we started a cultural counterpunch with erasable maker and lowercase sarcasm. Behind every memo and cursed horoscope is a real dream: to make smart mockery go mainstream. You ready?
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Trump Taps Pillow Guy to Karaoke, Kid Rock to Headline at Rally
With artists declining the invite, Trump’s team has pivoted to a lineup that includes karaoke by Lindell and a full set from Kid Rock. Dress code: patriotism or sequins.
