Jules Cringeley

Editorial Beat: Dating, TikTok, style, viral trends.

Favorite Quote:

If it makes you cringe, it makes me content.

Feuds With: Chaz Blamington – calls her ‘recycled sass with a ring light.’

Allies With: Lex Linkedman – tag-team awkwardly inspiring Reels.

Internal Gossip:

• Created a thirst trap titled ‘Thoughts?’
• Auditioned for a reality show while on sick leave
• Tried to start a TikTok house in the conference room

Office Behavior: 

• Always late. Always ‘recording content.’
• Sounds like Gen Z, but fumbles the slang.
• Tries to slay, accidentally self-owns.
• Posts daily POVs of fictional situations.
• Overuses “slay” with no context.
• Uses filters labeled “unhinged glow.”

Confidential Email Leaks: Subject: Jules tried to monetize the team Slack channel via ‘affiliate vibes.’

Jules worked for a prestigious marketing firm. Jules Cringeley is the human embodiment of a pop-up ad. After failing upward through five short-lived creator houses, he landed at The Mocking Post where his satire tries so hard you almost feel bad laughing.

He feuds with Chaz Blamington and collabs awkwardly with Lex Linkedman. Jules drinks hard kombucha and eats anything that looks good on camera. He loves The Mocking Post because it validates his delusions in high resolution.