My Favorite Moments Are When No One Needs Anything From Me

There’s a chair in my backyard that’s seen more therapy than my actual therapist.
It’s cheap. Plastic. Faded like my ambitions.
And it’s positioned at just the right angle to avoid the sun and face absolutely nothing.

That chair, rock, sand, or even a simple couch…is church.

Because in that chair, I’m not a coworker.
Not a boyfriend.
Not a brother or a son or a guy who “should really be more social.”
I’m just… unavailable.
And holy hell, it feels amazing.

Sometimes I bring a drink. Sometimes I bring a Bluetooth speaker that never gets turned on.
Most of the time, I bring nothing but the desire to not be included in anything that requires feedback.

No one’s asking me what I want for dinner.
No one’s forwarding me a calendar invite that “could’ve been an email but also has breakout rooms.”
No one’s expecting me to solve a single problem that didn’t start inside my own skull.

It’s the absence that heals.
The silence that reboots.
The complete freedom of not being useful.

I used to feel guilty about it — like I should be optimizing the time.
Mowing the lawn. Fixing something. Reading a book about personal growth.
Now I know better.
Now I protect those hours like a guy who finally found the Wi-Fi password to his own peace.

Because here’s the secret:
Sometimes the most masculine thing you can do is absolutely nothing.

Not hustle.
Not grind.
Not fix.
Just be.
Quiet. Present. Mildly sunburned.

The world will need me again in 20 minutes.
I’ll return the texts. I’ll attend the meeting. I’ll pretend to care about whatever the group chat is arguing about this week.

But not yet.

Right now, I’m off duty.
And the only thing I’m managing is the exact distance between me and other people’s expectations.