Facebook Dating Proudly Matches People Who Immediately Choose Silence
Facebook Dating excels at matching people who immediately decide not to speak, proving silence may be the most honest form of modern connection.
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Fitness and Health Resolutions for 2026 Made by People Who Hate January
Americans announce bold fitness resolutions for 2026, fully aware motivation will disappear by mid-January but hopeful the new gear lasts longer.
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Dating Resolutions for 2026 Made by People Who Will Ignore Them by February
Singles announce bold dating resolutions for 2026, fully aware they will ignore most of them once chemistry, vibes, and red flags enter the chat.
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Americans Demand ‘Keep Christ in Christmas,’ Ignore Everything Christ Actually Said
Americans demand Christ stay in Christmas, while supporting policies that cut food, healthcare, and aid Jesus explicitly taught people to provide.
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Wellness Gurus Say Sleep Is Free, Forgetting Rent Costs $2,000 a Month
Sleep is free, say wellness gurus. For everyone else, rent costs $2,000 and uninterrupted rest feels like another luxury no one can afford.
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Experts Say Money Can’t Buy Happiness, But $900M Down Payment Doesn’t Hurt
Two unknown Powerball winners split $1.8B, while experts insist money can’t buy happiness—yet the nation imagines every way it absolutely could.
