In an exclusive sit-down, Patty Patricide interviews the most litigated, subpoenaed, and emotionally neglected piece of tech in American history. Yes — the laptop.
The independent presidential candidate clarified that he’s not against vaccines — he’s just more into “theoretical immune systems that align with liberty and sound like your cousin’s podcast.”
Within minutes of the shooting, internet users had already blamed the FBI, the Clintons, five unrelated TikTokers, and one retired librarian from Michigan.
The pop icon will host the first Gen Z-targeted debate, featuring policy questions, themed bracelets, and a “Midterms (Taylor’s Version)” companion EP.