Sagittarius Season Begins With Loud Apologies
Babs Relata
Mockitor of Human Mistakes
Human Behavior Columnist
It’s Sagittarius season, which means archers across the zodiac are preparing their most powerful weapon: the performative mea culpa. Not because they’ve changed. Not because they feel bad. But because someone, somewhere, finally called them out with a timestamp.
♐ Sagittarius will deliver dramatic public apologies for things they don’t regret. Expect candles, crowd-funded therapy, and iPhone Notes screenshots signed “with light.”
Expect:
- A carousel of apology slides formatted in Canva
- “Growth journey” TikToks with piano loops and no actual remorse
- A sentence that begins with “To those I may have hurt…” and ends with “but also hurt me in return”
Sources confirm multiple Sagittarius influencers have already preloaded apology drafts in their Notes app titled things like “Clarifying Some Things ❤️” and “Regarding That Thing in 2022…”
Publicists are reportedly prepping “accountability candles,” crowd-funded therapy GoFundMes, and emotionally distant YouTube sit-downs filmed at suspicious angles.
The apologies will be vague. The candles will be overpriced. And the vibe will be less “repentance” and more “limited liability.”
Astrologically speaking, it’s not contrition—it’s content.
