Promposal Ends in Confusion as Both Students Were Planning to Say No

MAPLEVIEW HIGH — A promposal involving glitter, poster board, and Coldplay lyrics took an unexpected turn when both participants tried to gently reject each other… at the exact same time.

Junior Alyssa D. was halfway through her choreographed hallway proposal to her semi-boyfriend Mason when he blurted out, “Wait, I was actually gonna talk to you about prom.”

According to eyewitnesses, the tension was immediate. “I thought it was going to be cute,” said Cassidy, Alyssa’s best friend and designated videographer. “But then Mason started pulling something out of his pocket and I knew we were spiraling.”

Mason had apparently written a break-up haiku on a notecard to soften his prom rejection:

“We vibe, but not prom
The dance is a social trap
Let’s still eat lunch tho?”

Alyssa, meanwhile, had taped 200 tiny hearts to a foam board reading “You + Me = Prom?” in blocky bubble letters.
When she realized he wasn’t about to say yes, she slowly turned the poster around so it just said “mo?” and walked away.

“I wasn’t mad,” Alyssa told The Mocking Post. “I was mostly relieved. I didn’t want to go with him either. I just thought I had to ask because he liked the playlist I sent last week.”

The two are now reportedly on good terms and have agreed to “stay chill but not too chill” through the end of the semester.

In a joint statement, they said:

“It turns out we were dating mostly through playlists and passing period eye contact. We respect each other’s decision to not emotionally spiral about this.”

Update:
Both students will now be attending prom separately, as friends of people who are friends with other people. The glitter has been swept. The Coldplay lyric is still stuck on the back wall of B Hall.