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Committee Tasked With Defining “Real Americans” Disqualifies Itself
Every eligibility rule eliminated at least one member, including the member who proposed it.
Local Man Discovers He Has Opinion on Strait of Hormuz, Cannot Locate It on Map
A Tulsa man lays out his firm, unwavering position on the Strait of Hormuz — a place he cannot locate…
Raccoon With Spinal Condition Now Outperforming Marketing Team
A Seattle marketing agency concedes defeat after a raccoon with a spinal condition quietly outperforms its entire Q3 campaign.
Farm‑Girl Summer Became a Trend, Now Everyone’s Pinteresting Their Way to Boredom
From cottagecore dreams to overgrown zucchini gardens, everyone’s chasing slow living—until they realize infinity weeds aren’t trending.
DeMockracy | US
Trump Announces New Evidence Will Be Released “Very Soon,” Nation Checks Calendar Again
Trump’s promised evidence is always described as overwhelming, imminent, and somehow perpetually one news cycle away that never comes.
Everyone Wants Emotional Availability, Nobody Wants Emotional Honesty
Modern dating celebrates emotional availability until someone is honest enough to say what nobody wants to hear.
Americans Can’t Afford Eggs, Somehow Still Buying Stanley Cups
Americans scrutinize grocery prices while enthusiastically collecting trendy tumblers that somehow never make it into the monthly budget.
Vacation Photos Now Take Longer Than the Vacation
Modern vacations are less about relaxing and more about proving you relaxed, one perfectly staged photo at a time.