My Husband Listens to Therapy Recordings at 2x Speed
When emotional growth meets audio compression. Dr. Doctrine weighs in on relationship multitasking, and Aria adds her elegantly disapproving take on time-efficient intimacy.
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He Won’t Define the Relationship Until His Therapist Approves
When “It’s not you, it’s my therapist” becomes a dating strategy. Dr. Doctrine unpacks the therapy-industrial delay, and Connor Descend offers a productivity-centric breakdown of emotional outsourcing.
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I Got Labeled a “Boomer Gen Z” for Using Punctuation in Texts.
A high school junior finds herself ostracized for… grammar. Dr. Doctrine explains the cost of linguistic clarity in the era of ‘vibe communication,’ and Gen-Z mockitor Keanu responds with an all-caps mood swing.
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Red States Begin Banning Electric Cars for Being “Too Woke”
The movement, unofficially dubbed “Operation Roll Coal 2.0”, started in Mississippi, where State Senator Carl Duntley (R–Hattiesburg) introduced a bill declaring that “electric vehicles represent not only an attack on traditional American energy, but also a threat to masculine identity, family values, and the sacred act of internal combustion.”
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Promposal Ends in Confusion as Both Students Were Planning to Say No
What started as a romantic gesture ended with two students politely rejecting each other at the same time, sparking the quietest double breakup in school history.
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Freshman Accidentally Sets Curve After Thinking Test Was ‘Just Practice’
Chaos erupted in Honors Bio after a freshman mistook the midterm for “warm-up questions” and accidentally wrecked the grading curve for everyone else.
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Business | Culture | Tech | The Mock Locker
Girl Gets 3 Days Detention for AirDropping Inspirational Quote
A sophomore’s digital pep talk spiraled into a disciplinary crackdown after students began feeling mildly better about themselves.
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University Adds ‘Emotional Support Friend’ Program to Replace Therapy
Citing budget cuts and “vibe-based student feedback,” a major university has launched a bold initiative: assigning each freshman an “Emotional Support Friend.” No credentials, no training — just someone with Spotify Premium and a vague interest in your wellbeing.
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Zendaya And Tom Holland Deny Their Relationship Is “Just for PR”
In an exclusive sit-down with Chaz Blamington, America’s favorite maybe-couple answers the question on everyone’s feed: Are they dating, acting, or just in a longform branded campaign for Gen Z affection? The results were romantic, confusing, and allegedly unscripted.
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MrBeast: “I’m Just a Kid With a Billion-Dollar Piggy Bank”
Kara Conforman sits down with MrBeast to discuss wealth, copycats, corporate chaos, and whether generosity can be algorithmically monetized. He explains the Beast Games lawsuit, flirts with politics, and denies ever feeding anyone only celery. Kind of.
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I’m Finally Happy, and It’s Making Everyone Nervous
I got my life together, and now everyone assumes I’ve joined a cult or pyramid scheme. Honestly, they’re not wrong, it’s called “hydration and boundaries.”
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I Don’t Believe in Luck, I Believe in Being Loud and Win Out of Exhaustion
I’ve never been the best in the room — just the most committed to refusing to leave it. I succeed by outlasting people with boundaries.
