The Death of the Conservative Christian Conscience
Mourned by scripture, survived by culture wars, the Conservative Christian Conscience passed quietly after years of rationalizing the irrational.
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Student-Athlete Collective Gains Popularity but Fails to Teach Him the Sport
One minute he’s promised a sponsor-funded highlight reel, the next he’s in a group chat debating whether selling T-shirts counts as “valid business purpose.”
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Gender Roles Reversed Again, Then Inside Out Over Brunch
According to a new study no one asked for, financial independence turns men into patriarchs and women into flight risks. Love is dead, but brunch is eternal.
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Fraternity Brother Unsure if He’s in a Brotherhood or Niche Performance Art Collective
Between the matching outfits, rehearsed chants, and ritualized violence disguised as bonding, he’s starting to question whether this is a social club or immersive theater.
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The Death of Common Sense in the Age of Outrage
After a long, quiet battle with social media, Common Sense has passed away. It is survived by its louder, less qualified cousins.
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Spot the Date: Woman’s Profile Photo Lineup Triggers Dating App Eye Strain
In an age of infinite scroll, some women have embraced the chaotic art of hiding in plain sight. Dating men are now asking: am I falling for her… or her best friend?
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Financial Freedom Hits Men Like a Mortgage, Women Like a Flight Deal
When men get money, they settle down. When women get money, they level up. It’s not toxic, it’s trending.
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We Asked 5 Life Coaches for Advice. They Asked Us for Venmo.
In our pursuit of clarity, purpose, and healing, we discovered that all roads lead to invoice.
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Doctrine | Memes | Mockademia
My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.
I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming our lectures on TikTok “to promote access and engagement.”
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“You’re Welcome, America,”Trump Interviewed About Unreleased Epstein List
Trump calls for transparency, flirts with Kara, and accidentally invents a new legal doctrine: “Guilt is subjective if you squint.”
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Sagittarius Season Begins With Loud Apologies
Sagittarius will deliver dramatic public apologies for things they don’t regret.
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Culture | DeMockracy | Tech | UnAsked | US
Hunter Biden’s Laptop: “I Just Wanted to Be a Printer.”
In an exclusive sit-down, Patty Patricide interviews the most litigated, subpoenaed, and emotionally neglected piece of tech in American history. Yes — the laptop.
