Man’s Podcast Now Just Weekly List of Things He’s “Not Allowed to Say Anymore”
What began as a commentary show has become an oral complaint log about accountability, dating apps, and modern consequences.
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Influencer Caught Using Real Emotion, Followers Left Confused
She cried on camera without a launch, a link, or a lipstick. The reaction was swift, divided, and algorithmically devastating.
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Influencer Discovers Poverty in Sponsored Post and Raises Awareness and Engagement
She meant to promote a skincare serum. Instead, she stumbled into a global crisis, and 38,000 new followers. Poverty has never looked so filtered.
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Local Dad Outraged by Gas Prices, Still Buys Boat He Won’t Use
He swears the country’s going to hell over $4.09 a gallon, but just put $28,000 on a depreciating fiberglass dream named “Liquid Asset.”
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Hollywood Signs First Fully AI-Generated Actor to Multi-Film Deal
The synthetic star, known as Eliah™, is reportedly “charismatic, punctual, and immune to scandals.” SAG-AFTRA remains unsure whether to strike, negotiate, or reboot themselves.
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Influencers Are the New Gods and We Built the Religion Ourselves
The influencer class has become our modern clergy, they blessing products, cursing restaurants, and performing miracles like turning vanity into income.
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Post Malone Releases Country Album and Fans Unsure
The rapper-turned-singer-turned-cowboy unveils “Boot.exe,” an album equal parts twang, trauma, and unexpected emotional clarity.
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Immigrants Still Taking American Jobs, Mostly the Ones No One Else Wants
Americans say immigrants are stealing jobs, just not the ones that involve heat, lifting, or responsibility.
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GOP Calls “No Kings” March Anti-American, Forgetting America’s Entire Origin Story
Protesters rally under the banner “No Kings,” prompting GOP outrage and a reminder that 1776 was basically the same event minus the Wi-Fi.
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Turning Point Demands “All-American” Super Bowl Halftime Show, Accidentally Serves Tacos at the Press Conference
Turning Point USA wants an “All-American” Super Bowl halftime show to protest Bad Bunny’s Spanish lyrics, accidentally serving tacos while ignoring that Trump’s own rallies played Latin salsa hits.
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Nobody Reads Anymore, Says Woman Who Commented on an Article She Didn’t Finish
Critics say reading is dead, yet commenters prove it daily, skimming headlines, ignoring nuance, and declaring opinions on articles they never actually read.
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All-Female Nightclub Shuts Down After Night of Eternal Waiting
An ambitious all-female nightclub experiment collapsed when patrons spent the evening locked in a polite standoff, waiting for someone else to pick up the tab.
