The Guest List
They met in rooms with velvet walls,
Where money hummed and memory stalls.
A whisper here, a nod, a toast—
Each smile a secret held the most.
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DeMockracy | US
Harris Declines California Race, Brags “I Told You So” on Trump
By passing on 2026 gubernatorial bidding, Harris confirms she’s staying national—claiming vindication for calling Trump-era collapse early.
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Man Quietly Wins Lottery And Suddenly Becomes “Soulmate” of 43 Women
He told no one, but somehow every ex, classmate, and distant cousin sensed he’d become spiritually attractive overnight.
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We Don’t Need More Outrage, We Need Smarter Listening
Being intelligent is not the same as being knowledgeable. Many intelligent people do dumb things. We don’t need more noise. We need more pauses.
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“You’re Welcome, America,”Trump Interviewed About Unreleased Epstein List
Trump calls for transparency, flirts with Kara, and accidentally invents a new legal doctrine: “Guilt is subjective if you squint.”
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DeMockracy | US
Pam Bondi to Release Epstein List, but Only to The Mocking Post
Former Florida AG announces exclusive Epstein list release to The Mocking Post, citing “consistent commitment to moral ambiguity and controlled chaos.”
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Culture | DeMockracy | Tech | UnAsked | US
Hunter Biden’s Laptop: “I Just Wanted to Be a Printer.”
In an exclusive sit-down, Patty Patricide interviews the most litigated, subpoenaed, and emotionally neglected piece of tech in American history. Yes — the laptop.
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DeMockracy | US
Kari Lake Sues Reality Again, Vows to Win This Time
Despite a string of courtroom losses and increasing detachment from documented events, the Arizona firebrand remains confident she’ll prevail against truth itself, eventually.
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Man’s Political Opinions Now 94% Cuss Words, 6% Fox News Adjectives
He says he’s not mad — just ‘fuckin’ awake.’ No one’s slept since.
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DeMockracy | US
US Presidential Candidate Vows to Appoint ‘Truth Czar’ for All Online Discourse
A leading candidate has promised to establish a federal office dedicated to verifying every tweet and post, raising concerns about the nation’s new official “like” and “dislike” button for reality.
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Red States Begin Banning Electric Cars for Being “Too Woke”
The movement, unofficially dubbed “Operation Roll Coal 2.0”, started in Mississippi, where State Senator Carl Duntley (R–Hattiesburg) introduced a bill declaring that “electric vehicles represent not only an attack on traditional American energy, but also a threat to masculine identity, family values, and the sacred act of internal combustion.”
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Business | Culture | Tech | The Mock Locker
Girl Gets 3 Days Detention for AirDropping Inspirational Quote
A sophomore’s digital pep talk spiraled into a disciplinary crackdown after students began feeling mildly better about themselves.
