Congress Accidentally Agrees on Something, Immediately Investigates Itself

A joint infrastructure bill to improve water systems passed the House 398–37 this week — an act so unusual, multiple members of Congress assumed it had to be a mistake.

The moment of cooperation lasted just under seven minutes before Rep. Hardwell (R–KY) accused himself of “possibly being bribed,” and Rep. Alvarez (D–OR) demanded an investigation “into whatever just happened.”

Terry remarks:

“It was like watching divorced parents agree on a field trip. Everyone clapped, and then panicked.”

Analysts believe the confusion stemmed from the bill being:

• Brief
• Actually about infrastructure
• Lacking any unrelated culture war amendments

Speaker McCarthy called for a formal pause “to assess whether legislation passed too efficiently might undermine tradition.”

One Senate aide whispered, “If they agree again, we might lose the gridlock bonus built into the budget.”