Millions Celebrate Crackdown on “Antifa,” Still Unsure Whether It’s a Band, a Virus, or a Salad Ingredient
Kara Conforman
Mockitor of Organizational Disasters
Workplace & Systems Analyst
Trump’s move to label Antifa a terrorist group has supporters celebrating the end of something they still can’t define, identify, or spell.
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump’s declaration designating Antifa as a terrorist organization sparked nationwide celebration among his supporters, most of whom admitted they weren’t entirely sure what Antifa is.
“I think it’s that thing from Portland,” said one man waving a flag. “Or maybe it’s that group that doesn’t like the flag. Either way, I’m glad it’s gone.”
Across social media, the announcement was met with cheers and confusion. One user posted, “Finally! No more Antifa!” followed by a selfie wearing a shirt that read, ‘I’m Against Fascists.’
When asked what Antifa stood for, responses included:
- “Anti-Fatigue, I think? Like soldiers who get tired.”
- “Ant Farm International. They’re everywhere.”
- “A TikTok challenge, probably.”
Political analysts clarified that “Antifa” is short for anti-fascist, referring broadly to groups that oppose authoritarianism. That explanation only deepened the confusion.
“So wait,” asked one supporter, “if Antifa means anti-fascist, then aren’t we… for it?”
The clarification didn’t help. Within hours, Antifa trended online under “health alerts,” “travel restrictions,” and “concert tickets.”
Critics say the entire episode reflects America’s growing ability to fight things it doesn’t understand. “We’re in an era where outrage comes first and comprehension never shows up,” said one sociologist. “We’ve turned ignorance into a belief system.”
Trump supporters were reportedly planning celebrations for next week’s anticipated crackdown on “The Deep State,” which many believe is a deep discount grocery store.
