Ricky Machismo

Editorial Beat: Alpha delusions, sports psychology myths, gym cults, fantasy football trauma, locker room logic, baseball, football, basketball, nba. pickleball

Favorite Quote:

I critique masculinity the way I lifts weights—loudly, shirtless, and with a good dose of humorous form.

Feuds With: Connor Descend – “Weak grip. Weak mindset.”

Allies With: Buck Brogan – bonded over bench PRs and protein pancakes.

Internal Gossip:

• Pre-workout meets post-truth.
• A walking deltoid of delusion with a minor in motivational yelling.
• Posts shirtless motivational reels captioned “Warrior Mode: Unlocked.”
• Once challenged the vending machine to a squat contest
• He’s got white powder in his desk drawers, calls it “creatine”.

Office Behavior:

• Does burpees during meetings. Refers to interns as “rookies.” Replaces chairs with kettlebells.
• Wears cleats to staff meetings “in case we run drills.”
• Adds #Grindset to all internal emails.”
• Starts every Monday with a hype speech… to himself

Confidential Email Leaks: Subject: Ricky sent a reply-all with the subject “WE ARE ALL CHAMPIONS” after losing a company trivia game.

Ricky once coached a youth dodgeball league that went 0-12 but claimed it was a “spiritual victory.” He believes every workplace conflict can be resolved with a push-up contest and that protein shakes should be tax-deductible.

Ricky Machismo writes like he trains: fast, loud, and with total disregard for form. If there’s a bench, he’ll sit on it. If there’s a fight, he’ll flex into it.

He joined The Mocking Post because traditional media “lacked testosterone and metaphors.”