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Only in America Can a Felon Blame Felons and Immigrants

Chaz Blamington

Chaz Blamington
Chief Mockitor of Social Reactions
Social Commentary Editor

Filed on

A convicted felon with an immigrant spouse tells America that felons and immigrants are the problem. The audience applauds, then asks for an encore.

WASHINGTON — Behold the greatest trick in American politics. A convicted felon steps to the mic, points at felons and immigrants, and declares them the nation’s doom. The crowd nods in unison, then buys a T-shirt.

This is the only country where a man found guilty on 34 felony counts can warn you about criminals, and where his wife, a naturalized American, can stand beside him while he warns you about immigrants. The performance is called Values. The genre is denial.

Supporters insist the message is common sense. Lock them up. Ship them out. They never mention that the messenger has already been convicted under the laws he claims to defend, or that the immigrant in the family photo is living proof that the system he rails against actually works.

The script goes like this:

  • Crime is everywhere, except on the stage in front of you.
  • Immigrants are dangerous, except the one on your campaign flyer.
  • Accountability is vital, except when the judge knows your name.
  • Universities are corrupt, except the one you ran that had to shut down for defrauding students.
  • Sexual predators deserve prison, unless the court orders you to pay millions in damages for assault and defamation.

Trump was found guilty on 34 felony counts in New York for falsifying business records in 2024. He was also found liable for sexual abuse and defamation against writer E. Jean Carroll, paying over $83 million in total judgments. Before that, he settled the Trump University fraud case for $25 million after the for-profit “university” was shut down for deceiving students with fake instructors and false success claims.

Yet despite this legal highlight reel, his supporters still cheer as if the rapture will happen at the next rally.

Pundits call it a contradiction. Devotees call it faith with the mask of Christianity. Either way, the applause line never changes: if something is wrong, blame the people with the least power to fight back, then buy another hat.

America loves redemption stories. It just prefers the kind that come with merch, a playlist, and someone else to blame.

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